Recently, a good friend and sometime adversary ptfan1sent me a brick of puerh. Don’t bother to ask me how to pronounce it. It is not something that you smoke but rather something that you drink. It is a form of aged Chinese tea. I like to think of it as tea V.S.O.P. Thus far, I’ve been a little reluctant to open it. You see, ptfan1 is a conservative with a chain saw and ever since I insulted his number one pin up girl, Sarah Palin, I’ve been afraid that it might be a pipe bomb. I haven’t heard from ptfan1 in a while and I think he is holed up in his underground bunker surrounded by every semi-automatic weapon ever made.
The original plan was to open the package and share the puerh with two friends, Anarchist and Fakename but due to my broken leg, that isn’t feasible right now. You see, Anarchist is off with his wife totally revitalizing the Gulf Coast economy by their damn selves. Anarchist has never met a poker tournament he didn’t like and I am sure he is kicking ass at every casino somewhere off of I-10. I am srue that the waitresses are getting tips like they’ve never seen while Anarchist is making a fortune.
Meanwhile, you’d think that Fakename would be by my side but she is to busy drag racing her vintage Camaro up and down Haul Ass Road. Either that or she is skin diving in some local swamp trying to discover some new sub-species of tadpole shit for her next post on Mutual of Fakename’s Wild Kingdom.
Anyway, I will finally read ptfan1’s post on how to brew puerh and it better not have any damn algebra in it or it won’t get brewed. I am really looking forward to it because I don’t want to sit on my ass waiting on the final four. I am always willing to try new things as long as it isn’t gross. So if you get my report tomorrow on how to brew puerh tomorrow, please take note. If you read about my obituary in the Tallahassee Democrat, you know who to call the police on. Either that or I will use my first instinct to put it in a pipe; and you know the rest…
Filed under: Humor and Satire , anarchist, fakename. ptfan1, puerh, tea
You just wait, ee. Mutual of Fakename’s Wild Kingdom has already picked out the featured animal for our next episode, and you’ll be sorry you said mean things about our little fruit bat.
Meanwhile, is that a twig in that pile of tea leaves? You might want to find out if there’s an antidote to this stuff before you try it.
Fakename, your powers of observation are keen! There is a twig in the tea. Your little fruit was so ugly, it made Miss Jane Pittman look like a beauty queen.
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So did the puerh work? Enquiring minds want to know….
I hear there’s a lot of “tea parties” going on; maybe you can host one…lol!
Anarchist, I was reading up on how to brew the tea but i don’t think i have the right equipment. I have to go back and reread everything. I was a little distracted by the Final Four.
Notice that nothing much gets past Fakename.
ROFL, So now you are the Charlie Chan of WordPress?
Funny stuff! Puerh (Poo-er/)can be a simple brew. You can actually just heat the water and put some leaves in a cup and drink with the leaves in the bottom. Kinda like cooking anything you first have to break the eggs.