The Horse Always Survives!


  There is a funny thing about me.  I am addicted to old western movies.  I love John Wayne and Audie Murphy’s movies.  I also like Gary Cooper and Glenn Ford.  Perhaps my favorite western of all time is Gregory Peck’s The Big Country.  In that particular picture, Peck is a man who seems out of place but is very much aware of his surroundings.   And he kicks Charlton Heston’s gun toting ass to boot.  My second favorite has to be Stagecoach with the Duke. 

Please keep in mind that I watch these movies over and over again.  I always root for the Indians but they never win.  I keep thinking about it as a comprehensive immigration control plan.  But it is what it is.  What really bothers me is the fact that in all of the shoot outs, the so called American’s always shoot the Indians but never the horse.  What’s up with that?

Keep in mind that whenever an Indian gets shot, the horse always falls down but gets right back up either making his way back to camp or dragging an Indian to his impending doom.  Is this a testament to the marksmanship of the Calvary Soldiers  or the horse’s uncanny ability to dodge bullets?  I would suggest that it is the latter.

You see, I was given a horse at an early age by an overly generous Godmother.  The horse that I named Kemosabee was an ornery son of a Philly.  After biting me repeatedly trying to give him sugar cubes and carrots, I tried to bust a cap in his ass.  And wouldn’t you know it, I never came close to hitting his ornery ass.  Just like in the movies, the horse had mystical powers and could not be shot.

But I finally got my revenge on Kemosabee, I got him loaded onto a truck and shipped off to a dog food factory.  In what must be described as bad Karma, Kemosabee got his revenge.  I fed my dog  a can of Alpo  and Tonto started to bite me every chance he got…  I wonder if I can get him deported.     



Filed under Humor and Satire

5 responses to “The Horse Always Survives!

  1. fakename2

    See, here’s the deal. The horses couldn’t help it that they belonged to the evil Indians, so it was considered impolite to kill one, even by accident. The Indians, on the other hand, were fair game, because they were trying to kill innocent white people who only wanted to peacefully take over all the Indians’ land and shoot all the buffalo.

  2. fakename2

    And P.S. Isn’t it nice to be able to say “ass” without being thrown into a dungeon?

  3. spencercourt

    In case you really do like Westerns, my favorite is “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.” But, I prefer the Japanese version of a Western – the samuari movies, especially Kurosawa’s films. He’s doing a remake of “Seven Samurai” which had a U.S. spinoff as “The Magnificent Seven.” I like the “close and personal” blade action of a samuari film that Westerns don’t have. So of course, Kill Bill 1 is on my list of favorites!

  4. ptfan1

    This is your lucky day. I love Greg Peck’s movies too. He is my all time favorite actor and I bet I have a movie with him in it that you have not seen. And………it’s a western. The Stalking Moon. It is about an Indian that kicks ass so you should like that part too. The more recent reviews do it an injustice I think Ebert in particular. I studied this movie in college, if you are able to find a copy try to notice what is not part of the movie. But my favorite all time Peck movie is To Kill A Mockingbird. I grew up without a father and that was the closet thing I could imagine a good father to be. Also…if you haven’t seen the one man Peck review he did just before he passed it is priceless stuff. He tells the story of how he met his wife in Paris after filming Roman Holiday and that story is the best, he is a good story teller.

  5. eehard

    I’ll try to find that movie. I also saw the one man review. It was great!

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