News You Can’t Use! Edition 4








Well I have pretty much run out of lame things to say about my cell phone so I’ll now turn my attention to my new lawnmower.  The Home Depot just happened to have a better Toro model on sale than the one I intended to buy.  It is a self paced propelled model that moves as fast as you want it to.  My previous mower went so fast my yard was like a NASCAR track.  Maybe that explains the two rednecks with a cooler of beer who always showed up when I cut the grass.


Sarah Palin likes to hunt.  I wonder when she is out hunting whether or not it’s on a full stomach?  I never could understand why people have the urge to pick up a gun and go kill animals not bothering anyone.  So much for the sanctity of life…

While we are on the subject of Sarah Palin, I hear that she got her first passport in 2007.  Is anyone else besides me mortified of her becoming the Vice President?  Being a heartbeat away from the presidency, and that is a proposition that may be closer than you think; her only foreign policy experience is fucking the Arctic polar bears over.  It shouldn’t come as a surprise, that’s what Republicans do best!

You’ve got to love those anarchist’s protesting at the Republican National Convention!  They’re trying to screw it up.  I find that ironic considering how the Republican’s have been screwing us over the last eight years.

And finally, my 527 attak ad on John McCain.  See you next week!


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Filed under Humor and Satire

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