I Should Be A Featured TDO Blogger!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I, like most of Tallahasse.com readers would like to know the criteria of what it takes to become a Tallahassee.com featured blogger.  We’ve got two real estate guys, a radio guy, a weather guy, a black guy who thinks he’s a white guy, a non-profit lady, and a retired criminal investigator lady who now dominate the featured blogs section.  Unfortunately, their blogs stay up an average of three years.  The poor reader’s blog section has an average life expectancy of about 2 hours, one hour if C4BW is having a bad day.  I want to live longer!  I demand to be a featured blogger!  I will be the bovine excreta guy!

I admit that I clicked on real estate guy’s page one day and saw a bunch of charts that gave me spasms.  With the financial crisis going on and there being no liquidity available, who can get a loan to buy a house anyway?  When I started writing this you had five posts displayed.  Try this chart on for size!

Not to be outdone, the weatherman has now made an appearance, and guesses what?  More charts! I don’t like charts without animation.  When I want my weather, I like to see the guy in front of the blue screen and pointing at imaginary images.  Want more?  Dude, you don’t have any Doppler radar.  What good is a weather report without radar?  Check out my chart!

Hey radio guy, you didn’t have any charts but you started talking about the Bible and quite frankly that annoyed the hell out of me.  I want a radio personality to be hooking me up with free concert tickets, not reciting fables.  You should have done something cool like doing a gospel music top ten list.  Because I’m now pissed at you ruining by blogging experience I’ve got a chart just for you!  Rock on dude!

I haven’t seen the black guy that thinks he is a white guy in a couple of days but I am sure that he is composing another 37 paragraph piece of art.  This guy uses big words that people considered to be geniuses have to crack open their dictionaries to know what the fuck this guy is talking about.  I have never read an article of his that didn’t inspire me to call for blog burning rallies.  Take this black guy that thinks he’s a white guy.

You haven’t done anything to piss me off retired criminal investigator lady but because you use to be a cop you do not get a free pass.  I don’t like or dislike the police but I am pissed at the light, lenient, bogus ass punishment the TPD officer’s got over the Rachel Hoffman case.  So all law enforcement deserves a chart today.

So I should be a featured blogger because no one can dish out the bullshit like I can!

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6 Comments

Filed under Humor and Satire

6 responses to “I Should Be A Featured TDO Blogger!

  1. fakename2

    Oh yes you should be a featured blogger…the TD could only dream that more than 4,000 views would occur on their website, like you have on wordpress.
    I do exactly know who you’re talking about when you mention the black guy masquerading. But don’t mess with Weather Guy, I like him. All others: fair game.
    Also, I appreciate the bovine excreta idea, but what would that be called if it was a horse?
    Your friend,
    Fakename

  2. eehard

    I would hang myself before i became a featured blogger. That would make me an elitest and that is not in vouge right now. I guess equine poo would be the term for a horse i think. Where is poo4betterhealth when you need him? LOL

  3. fakename2

    Hanging is way too harsh. I miss poo. I figured he got deleted. Along with Brokenclock. What the heck happened to him/it? Just asking.

  4. eehard

    I think clock’s springs have finally sprung! But there may be a reincarnation. You’ll be the first to know. LOL

  5. spencercourt

    I agree that being a “featured” blogger is not a good sign….

    And Fakename, the “black guy who wants to be a white guy” is Chris Timmons, who writes those conservative blogs and is maybe 25, if not younger. Very “bookish” in his writing….

  6. fakename2

    Yep, that’s him. Honestly, you know what, I think he’s probably a sincere guy and a nice person, but he doesn’t really know how to write. I think if he quotes James Madison one more time I will…um, regurgitate. I think he comes across in some ways as a person who is way too impressed with his own knowledge and intellect. But that’s not really what I see…I see a guy who is too insecure to express an opinion without a lot of “sources” to back it up. Some days I just want to shake him and say Wake up! A blog is not a frigging term paper!

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