Some More Buy Bull!

 

Maybe I should have gone to school this semester.  I have way too much time on my hands.  I picked up the Bible for a few minutes just to get a few laughs but what I read today was shocking.  Cain killed his brother Abel and God put Cain into the Lord’s protection plan.  You see, Cain was afraid that since he was now a restless wanderer that somebody might kill him.  And I am sitting here thinking to myself just who in the fuck that might be?  There’s only you and your parents on the face of the earth and I’m pretty damn sure that they wouldn’t kill you.  The thought of losing another child would be overbearing.

So now Cain is banished and moves to the land of Nod east of Eden.  In Nod Cain finds a wife and gets married.  Hold up! Wait a minute!  I am really confused now.  Was there a God of Nod who created His own part of the world and His own first family?  I certainly hope so because if not, then only Adam and Eve could have had another child and that would mean Cain married his sister and that is just plain nasty.

Now I am pissed off to learn that I cannot live to be 930 years old.  I’d like the chance to have children at the age of 500. I could have enough children to vote Obama into office with my progeny alone.  It isn’t fair Big G.  If it’s good enough for Noah, it’s good enough for me.  Why reduce my life span to a mere 120 years?  I would really like to meet my great great great great great great great great great great great great grandsons and daughters.

And what’s with You giving Adam naming rights on woman?  Did he drop you a few shekels?  Why Eve?  I bet that if she had the chance to name herself she would have done so along the lines of Sheniquia or Foxy Brown.  Well I have to go now.  Me and my friend Leprechaun are going to follow that rainbow to that pot of gold.

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5 Comments

Filed under Humor and Satire, Religion

5 responses to “Some More Buy Bull!

  1. fakename2

    Yes that was one of those gaps in the Bible that made it a bit hard to follow. Where exactly did that wife person come from? I’m thinking that in between Adam, Eve, Cain, and Abel, there is a “lost” book, kind of like the Nixon tapes.

  2. eehard

    Will God resign or can he be impeached?

  3. ptfan1

    Well fn that would “esplain” how you can also accept and believe the religion of Obamessiah…….he has lost or misplaced everything about his past except for the word change. SO lost book is ok for god and Obamessiah. Well arighty then………

  4. eehard

    Do not take the Lord’s name in vain ptfan1. LOL

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