On the night prior to appearing on Meet the Press, Joe Biden was at the Articulate and Clean Bar in downtown Washington, DC downing shots and drinking beer with a group of buddies. The verbose Senator and vice presidential candidate was telling the group his latest version of his life story that somehow, eerily mirrored that of Green Acres actress Eva Gabor. Leaving the bar, Biden stepped into a local drug store to buy a few toiletries since he was spending the night in town instead of taking the train home. Half drunk, he bought Miracle Grow plant food instead of regular shampoo.
Somehow the Miracle Grow had an adverse effect on his hair plugs and when he awoke the next morning he had a head full of hair and a beard. Undeterred, he made it to the NBC studio to tape Meet the Press with Tom Brokaw. Responding to Brokaw’s question on what it would be like in the first few days of an Obama Administration Biden replied: “Obama will be tested by God pitting Obama against the Anti-Christ in a 15 minute steel cage death match. He will not win it because he has steel in his spine but because I’ll be in his corner with holy water from Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow Catholic Church!”
On a commercial break, an operative from the Obama campaign took out a billy club and whacked Biden on the head knocking him out. In a press release the Obama campaign announced that the Senator was taken to Bethesda Naval Medical Center where he was being treated for exhaustion. However, our sources are reporting that he is being held pending an emergency haircut and a shave and will have his mouth wired shut until after the election!