I’ve fallen and can’t get up! The conclusion.
I finally made it to the Tallahassee Orthopedic Clinic and not a moment to soon. Of course I expected to be whisked away into the back and be seen immediately. Shows you how much my dumb ass knows about the inner workings of the medical industry. I was given a clipboard and told to fill out every form. No problem I thought until I sat down and saw that I was filling out the equivalent of the Encyclopedia Britannica. I am thoroughly in favor of treatment first and paperwork never. Obama, you’d better hurry up with that H.I.T. shit.
As I mentioned earlier, the morphine shot I received at the hospital was wearing off and the pain was beginning to become unbearable. In fact the pain was starting to beat me up so bad I thought that I was dating Chris Brown. But there is such a thing as man code and man code simply states that we will not show pain or let anyone know how much pain we are in. And besides, it’s not as if I was going to get another shot at the clinic.
But I did suffer the same humiliation as I did at the hospital as the staff tried to determine how I was injured in the first place. There mere fact that I was walking through the house and heard and felt my bone snap was not good enough. I wanted to tell them that we were taking shots of Patron and were platform diving off of the bathroom vanity into that bathtub just to get them to shut the fuck up! Finally satisfied or disgusted they went about removing the splint the hospital had placed on my leg.
I spent the next twenty minutes completely identifying with King Tut. Although the boy king was unaware that he was being mummified, I wished for nothing more than to be dead as they wrapped the cast around my throbbing leg. How they can look at an x-ray and say set the foot at 45 degrees was amazing to me. I was thoroughly relieved when they had finished. They managed to put what felt like a 75 pound cast on the leg the size of a chicken drumstick. The leg still hurt like shit but at least I’d be able to go home and get some sleep. I was so tired I didn’t even feel like stopping yo pick up my percoset. I got the percoset the following day and while it did temper the pain somewhat, it did not alleviate it altogether. What kind of country do we live in where you can’t get a decent prescription for morphine? I guess it was the clinic’s way of saying you should only dive into a pool!