News You Can’t Use has been on hiatus recently but certain current events have dictated that we bring it back. Much to my delight and pleasure, it has come to my attention that blowhard conservative commentator Sean Hannity has volunteered to be waterboarded. The Fixed News windbag has said that he will do it as a charity event to help military families. The Associated Mess is always pleased to help with charitable causes and we’ll do whatever possible to help Mr. Hannity to be tortured. The Associated Mess is against all forms of tortue but haven’t we all been tortured enough by Hannity’s big and unfactual mouth? Who are we to question whether or not he considers waterboarding to be torture?
Oh shit! Did Hannity and Cheney just get wiped by Lawrence O’Donnell’s ass? He hit the nail right on the head. Hannity is so full of phony toughness it makes the average person sick to their stomach. Hannity would crack faster than a no bid Halliburton concrete parking garage contract. C’mon Captain America! We are waiting for the waterboarding. Just don’t invite Glenn Beck, his crying would ruin a joyous event.