Dick Cheney on Same Sex Marriage!

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When I first saw this, 911 had to be called to revive me.  There is no way in hell that I can believe that Dick Cheney supports same sex marriage.  He even referred to his daughter as being gay which in and of itself is quit amazing.  I was quite sure that for all of her life she thought he name was “Evil Dyke American Hating Gay Terrorist Daughter of Lesbos Enemy of God, Go Fuck Yourself Bitch!”  As we all know, Republicans hate fags.  It’s in their manifesto.  But despite all that, I believe that even Dick Cheney could not hate one of his children.  That is of course unless her lesbian lover was a Muslim.

What could possibly make the most evil man on earth suddenly accept the concept of gay marriage.  That will be debated by scholars for years to come but I have my own theory.  I believe that Dick Cheney was abducted by sadistic aliens who performed all types of sexual experiments on him.  Through all of the anal probes he was subjected to, he came to believe that the penis was no longer a weapon of ass destruction.

The Associated Mess has learned that so sincere is Cheney that he plans to march in this year’s New York City Gay Pride Day Parade.  He plans to march in nothing more than a rainbow diaper and stop at Donna Karan’s Boutique and purchase a Tinky Winky inspired purple handbag.  Asked why he has made such a dramatic change in policy Mr. Cheney replied: “Look you stupid moron, until you have had an anal suppository placed in you ass, you just can’t possibly understand, now go fuck yourself!”  Our reporter gently declined the request.

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As our reporter started to pack his gear, Cheney was overheard to say “You’ve got a really nice ass and if you ever want to explore your sexuality, just give Uncle Dick a call.  We can arrange to meet discreetly and have a really good time!”   Our incredulous reporter asked Mr. Cheney if he were serious to which he resoundingly replied “Oh Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!

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4 Comments

Filed under Humor and Satire, Religion, Society

4 responses to “Dick Cheney on Same Sex Marriage!

  1. Wonder what Rush has to say about this….

    I guess he’ll say Cheney is not a true Republican.

  2. eehard

    LOL. Maybe so but then Cheney would shoot him in the face and make him apologize.

  3. But given Chenye’s “marksmanship”, if he aimed for the face, we just might get lucky and he’d hit Rush in the groin. Which is probably better for Rush; he’s got nothing down there anyway!

  4. eehard

    ROLMBAO! You’re probably right my friend.

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