You can’t even go to the zoo these days and escape the vast homosexual agenda. Gay penguins? You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. I am absolutely positive that the penguin God, just like his human counterpart God made all penguins heterosexual. The one question that I can’t understand or answer is what made a perfectly straight man wake up some morning and say “Today seems like a good day to go suck some dick!” And furthermore, what makes a male penguin with the mental capacity of a well, er, a penguin say “Damn John, Mike has some sexy ass flippers don’t you think?”
We all know the reason for homosexuality in humans is that old television show Queer Eye For The Straight Guy. But as far as I know, penguins do not watch television. So what makes them gay? Could it be that homosexual behavior in the animal kingdom is a natural occurrence? If so, could the argument be made that it is also a natural occurrence between humans who have not watched Queer Eye For The Straight Guy? One could further deduce that if homosexuality is a natural behavior in the animal kingdom, then man, the greatest of all animals would also be susceptible to this behavior and all moral judgments whether pro or con would be rendered useless. But then again, animals eat their young, so this is a road I will not go down.
Who is the expert that can prove these two penguins are gay because they happen to share the same cave? I’d call them roommates! Batman and Robin shared a cave and I don’t remember anyone calling them gay except for Fredric Wertham, who touched on the subject in his 1954 book Seduction of the Innocent. I do not count the television series Batman because Batman and Robin were both unambiguously gay. Speaking of crime fighters, read what these villainous gay penguins were caught doing.
This may be a new story for me but I thought that it was the male penguin’s job to hatch the egg. Maybe Fakename will enlighten me in an upcoming episode of Fakename’s Animal Planet. And for the record, those German Penguins are not the first gay penguins to pull off this feat. Good old American Gay Penguins in New York’s Central Park Zoo did it over five years ago and the story became a best selling childrens book And Tango Makes Three. The important thing to remember here is that despite the birds so called sexual orientation, they took an abandoned egg, hatched it, and lovingly cared for the chick. You think humans can learn something from penguins?