Tag Archives: campaign

Blaming Sarah Palin!

gameday2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i-might-be-cute-but-47999

The blame game has begun and it is not pretty.  When Fox News starts trashing Republicans you have to agree that it is credible concerning the fact that they make their living off of trashing Democrats. When any campaign crashes and burns the finger pointing starts immediately.  I am thankful that this woman did not become the vice president.

Advertisements

3 Comments

Filed under Politics

Confession!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Politics

Southern Sheriff Pulls Over Obama Campaign Bus For Broken Taillight

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Obama Bus

Sheriff Dewey Clutter makes Sen. Obama recite the Gettysburg Address backwards.

FOXWORTH, MS—Despite obeying the posted speed limit and having all inspection, registration, and insurance documentation up to date, Sen. Barack Obama’s campaign bus was stopped for nearly four hours by Marion County deputy sheriff Dewey Clutter while en route to a Jackson, MS speech, sources reported Tuesday.

According to those on board the bus—including various journalists, members of the Secret Service, and Obama campaign staffers—several minutes passed before Clutter exited his cruiser. Witness statements all mention hearing the sheriff’s jackbooted footsteps along the gravel roadside as he slowly approached the vehicle’s passenger side. These reports also assert that, prior to reaching the front of the campaign bus, the sheriff paused momentarily to smash the right rear taillight of the bus before dragging his still-drawn baton along the entire length of the vehicle.

“Where’s the fire, son?” Clutter, 42, was overheard saying to the Illinois senator and 2008 Democratic presidential nominee. “Driving like that in these parts, what with a busted taillight and all, fella like you liable to get hisself into a whole mess a trouble.”

Obama protested briefly before Clutter interrupted the graduate of Columbia University and Harvard Law School, brusquely informing the senator that he could “detain [Obama’s] uppity ass for 48 hours without charging [him] with shit.”

“Huh. Illinois,” Clutter said while scrutinizing Obama’s driver’s license from behind a pair of mirrored aviator sunglasses. “You a long way from home, ain’t ya?”

“Now Barry, someone ’bout your height, ’bout your skin color knocked over a Piggly Wiggly up in New Hebron just a coupla hours ago,” Clutter continued. “But you wouldn’t know nothin’ ’bout that, now would you?”

Clutter then turned to Obama’s wife, Michelle, looked her up and down, and wiped his mouth with a handkerchief.

After questioning the New York Times best-selling author and presidential frontrunner for several minutes about his business in Mississippi and politely asking the Caucasian women on the bus if they were all right, Clutter claimed that he smelled marijuana smoke and initiated a search.

According to Clutter’s police report, the sheriff then ordered everyone to exit the bus and to place their hands on the side of the vehicle. Clutter then reentered the campaign bus, emerging a few moments later with a stack of documents.

“Well, well, would you looky here. If it ain’t Barry’s comprehensive plan for withdrawing U.S. troops from Iraq,” said Clutter, setting the proposal on fire with a lit cigarette while blowing smoke in Obama’s face. “Smart, well-dressed boy like you, I’d a-thought you’d take better care of your things.”

“Now ain’t that a shame,” Clutter added.

Following the search, witnesses said that Clutter allowed everyone back onto the vehicle with the exception of the senator. Twenty minutes later, a visibly agitated Obama climbed aboard the bus. He reportedly refused to discuss what had happened, and instructed the driver to continue on to Jackson.

According to Obama insiders, this is not the first time on the campaign trail that the former president of the Harvard Law Review has had to deal with this type of treatment. While attending a rally in Savannah, GA, Obama was closely followed around the town hall by several armed guards to ensure that he didn’t steal anything, and the senator reportedly had trouble canvassing voters in Baton Rouge, LA after everyone he approached crossed to the opposite side of the street.

“Sen. Obama has been incredibly patient and courageous during this election,” campaign chief of staff Jim Messina said while looking nervously over his shoulder. “Despite some setbacks, we feel that we’ve made incredible progress.”

“It’s a new day in America,” Messina added.

Posted in The Onion – October 17, 2008 Issue 44.42

Leave a comment

Filed under Humor and Satire

The Sarah Palin Chronicles! 8

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of the biggest blunders of the McCain/Palin Campaign was her introduction to and photo-op with Henry Kissinger.  Why?  Because one the most relied on talking points of the campaign is that McCain would not sit down with Iran without preconditions.  And that any negotiations would be from low level staffers.  That runs counter to everything that Henry Kissinger believes in.

fighting words: A wartime lexicon.

Disregarding HenryBoth candidates kowtowed to the disgraceful Kissinger. Only Obama cited him correctly.


How extraordinary to find that, for two straight days, the American media would preoccupy themselves with the question of who had the greater right—in a debate over foreign-policy “experience,” of all things—to quote Henry Kissinger. And how even more extraordinary that it should be the allegedly anti-war Democratic candidate who cited Kissinger with the most deference and, it even seems, the greater accuracy.

It began with that increasingly embarrassing process that might be describable (but probably isn’t) as the on-the-job education of Gov. Sarah Palin. On last Thursday’s CBS Evening News, facing the mild-as-milk questioning of Katie Couric, the thriller from Wasilla should have been relieved when the topics stopped being about the Bush doctrine or the thorny matter of Russian-Alaskan propinquity and could be refocused instead on Sen. Barack Obama’s weakness. But, having duly attacked him for being ready to meet with the dictators of Iran and Syria without “preconditions,” she was reminded that her new friend and adviser Henry Kissinger, furnished to her only that very week by the McCain machine, endorses direct diplomacy with both countries. “Are you saying,” Ms. Couric inquired with complete gravity, “that Henry Kissinger is naive?” The governor’s lame response was to say that: “I’ve never heard Henry Kissinger say, ‘Yeah, I’ll meet with these leaders without preconditions being met.’ ”

This enabled CBS to tack on a post-interview fact-check moment, confirming that Henry Kissinger did indeed favor such talks with such regimes “without preconditions.” This cannot have been hard to do, since only last week at a forum at George Washington University, consisting of himself and four other former secretaries of state, Kissinger had told his audience: “Well, I am in favor of negotiations with Iran. And one utility of negotiation is to put before Iran our vision of a Middle East, of a stable Middle East, and our notion on nuclear proliferation at a high enough level so that they have to study it.” He then added something that can hardly have startled anyone who ever watched him usurping presidential prerogatives during the Nixon and Ford administrations: “I actually have preferred doing it at the secretary of state level” before, as the New York Times put it with uncharacteristic brusqueness, “he trailed off.” Nonetheless, asked if such talks should be “at a very high level right out of the box,” his response was to say, “Initially, yes,” which is as much as to say “yes.” He then said: “I do not believe we can make conditions for the opening of negotiations,” which would appear to justify the use of the term unconditional in conjunction with “very high level.”

“Trailed off” is too kind a phrase even so for the drivel spouted above. Apparently Kissinger believes that the Islamic Republic of Iran is unaware of what we think about its nuclear program, has not studied our position, has not learned anything from its protracted and dishonest negotiations with the European Union and the International Atomic Energy Authority, but might be induced to do so if favored by a sit-down with Condoleezza Rice. Apparently, he does not know that the envoys of the Iranian foreign ministry are only ciphers, easily overridden by the mullah-dominated “Guardian Council” that holds all real power in Tehran. Evidently, he also thinks that Iran is deeply concerned about the maintenance of stability in the region. But then, Kissinger’s last memorable intervention in this area was to tell the readers of the Washington Post op-ed page that neighboring Iraq should be handled with care because it was a Sunni majority country. He has been to some trouble since to erase and rewrite this laughable ignorance on his part from the written record: For a trace of his evasiveness, please check here.

Finally, of course, there is Kissinger’s habitual fondness for any form of dictatorship. To have been the friend of Pinochet, Videla, and Suharto, while almost simultaneously fawning on Brezhnev and especially on Mao, is to have been a secretary of state who was soft on fascism—and soft on communism, too! Unconditional talks with Ahmadinejad and Assad? Why not? They are the sort of people with whom he (and Kissinger Associates, the firm that introduces despots to corporations) prefers to do business.

Thus for McCain, a full day and night after the exposure of his shaky running mate to such ridicule, to make the same mistake himself in Oxford, Miss., was really something to see. It was even worse if you heard it on radio, as I initially did, than if you saw it on television. (You can hear that geezerish whistle in his pipes much more ominously than when you are looking at his elderly face.) Anyway, on the same question of “without preconditions,” he walked into Obama’s tersely phrased riposte, which was to quote Kissinger in precisely the same way as Couric had already done. McCain looked and perhaps felt a fool at this point, and may have been only slightly cheered up when Kissinger told the Weekly Standard after the debate that he after all doesn’t, at least not for this precise moment, “recommend presidential high-level talks with Iran.” Which, when compared with his earlier remarks, makes it seem that he has no idea what he currently thinks and should either be apologized to by, or should apologize to, either Sarah Palin or Katie Couric, or conceivably both.

But the true farce and disgrace is that this increasingly glassy-eyed old blunderer and war criminal, who has been wrong on everything since he first authorized illicit wiretapping for the Nixon gang, should be cited as an authority by either nominee, let alone by both of them. Meanwhile, I repeat my question from two weeks ago: Does Sen. Obama appreciate, or do his peacenik fans and fundraisers realize, just how much war he is promising them if he is elected? Once again on Sept. 26 in Mississippi—at the end of a week when American and Pakistani forces had engaged in their first actual direct firefight—he repeated his intention of ignoring the Pakistani frontier when it came to hot pursuit of al-Qaida. Out-hawked on this point, as he was nearly out-doved on the Kissinger one, McCain was moderate by comparison. Obama went on to accuse Iran of having built more centrifuges than most people think it has. This allegation has a confrontational logic of its own, above and beyond the minor issues of preconditions and the “level” of diplomacy. I think Obama is to be praised for doing this—always assuming that he does in fact know what he is doing. But as we all press bravely on, the debate would look more intelligent, and be conducted on a higher plane, if it excluded a discredited pseudo-expert who has trampled on human rights, vandalized the U.S. Constitution, deceived Congress, left a trail of disaster and dictatorship behind him, and deserves to be called not a hawk or a dove but a vulture.

Leave a comment

Filed under Politics

First Palin, Then Campaign Suspension. What Now?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Slate predicts McCain’s next 10 Hail Mary stunts.

John McCain. Click image to expand.John McCain
1. Returns to Vietnam and jails himself.
2. Offers the post of “vice vice president” to Warren Buffett.
3. Challenges Obama to suspend campaign so they both can go and personally drill for oil offshore.
4. Learns to use computer.
5. Does bombing run over Taliban-controlled tribal areas of Pakistan.
6. Offers to forgo salary, sell one house.
7. Sex-change operation.
8. Suspends campaign until Nov. 4, offers to start being president right now.
9. Sells Alaska to Russia for $700 billion.
10. Pledges to serve only one term. OK, half a term.

Do you have an idea for McCain’s next campaign stunt? Send it to us at NextMcCainStunt@gmail.com , and we will publish the best ideas. E-mails may be quoted by name unless you indicate otherwise.

Leave a comment

Filed under Humor and Satire

Fuck the Polar Bears!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In May of 2008 the Bush Administration placed the polar bear on the endangered species list because of disappearing Arctic ice.  And that is particularly shocking to me considering Bush’s stance on most environmental issues.  So for the second time during his presidency I will give him props.  If you are wondering when the first time was; it was his AIDS initiative in Africa.  But back to the topic at hand.  There are an estimated 20,000-25,000 polar bears living in the Arctic.  However, scientist from the U.S. Geological Survey predicts that two thirds of the world’s bears will disappear in the next fifty years because of a decline in the Arctic sea ice.  That’s a pretty scary thought.

According to Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund:  “Senator McCain’s choice for a running mate is beyond belief. By choosing Sarah Palin, McCain has clearly made a decision to continue the Bush legacy of destructive environmental policies.”  They go on to further say:  “This is Senator McCain’s first significant choice in building his executive team and it’s a bad one. It has to raise serious doubts in the minds of voters about John McCain’s commitment to conservation, to addressing the impacts of global warming and to ensuring our country ends its dependency on oil.”  How is this so?  

On August 4, 2000 Governor Palin and the state of Alaska filed suit in the U.S. District Court for the D.C. Circuit to have the polar bears removed from the endangered species list.  She was joined in the suit by The American Petroleum Institute (API), National Association of Manufacturers (NAM), the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, Then National Mining Association, and the American Iron and Steele Institute.  That’s pretty exclusive special interest company.

In her lawsuit, Palin claims that the melting of the sea ice is not an imminent threat to their survival.  And that the models for the melting sea ice are not credible.  Sarah Palin, whose husband works for BP, has repeatedly put special interests first when it comes to the environment. In her scant two years as governor, she has lobbied aggressively to open up the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to drilling, pushed for more drilling off of Alaska’s coasts, and put special interests above science. Ms. Palin has made it clear through her actions that she is unwilling to do even as much as the Bush administration to address the impacts of global warming.

This lawsuit should be dismissed immediately.  The only one who should be fucking polar bears is other polar bears!

5 Comments

Filed under Politics

Playing the P.O.W. Card!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Recently, in response to criticism the McCain Campaign has been using McCain’s status as a former prisoner of war to defend its actions.  New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd has an excellent piece in today’s paper.  Please click the following link to read.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/24/opinion/24dowd.html?_r=1&ref=opinion&oref=slogin

9 Comments

Filed under Politics