Tag Archives: dick cheney

Police Brutality!










I try my best to help the ignorant masses to get informed.  I don’t put out my public service announcements for my benefit.  Obviously, this neer-do-well has never seen my “Staying Safe from the Police!” PSA.  His dumb ass should have known that if the police have to come and get you, then they’re also bringing an ass whipping.

Now this doesn’t excuse the behavior of the officer who should have been fired on the spot.  To kick a man in the head while he is laying prostrate on the ground is an act of brutality that should never happen.  However, the prisoner can console himself that he was fortunate enough that Dick Cheney and the CIA wasn’t after his ass.


1 Comment

Filed under Society

Wanda Sykes


Filed under Humor and Satire

The C.I.A. Exposed by Jane Mayer!










Filed under Politics, Society

After 9/11!


























One of the most horrific events of our time occurred in the morning on September 11, 2001.  It’s the day that America stood still.  It’s one of those events that each and every American will remember where they were and what they were doing.  The idea that we we were protected by two oceans was forever lost.  What else that was lost in the proceeding days, by a handful of government lawyers and Dick Cheney, were the very ideals upon which this country was founded and operated on.  In those days, were the days, when the gloves came off.

Our circle has been having a fascinating debate on the treatment of detainees in the aftermath of 9/11.  You can follow the threads here on Fakename’s blogs The Torture Memos and Torture-Why Not?  There’s more on my blog Dickless Cheney.  Whichever side you come down on the torture issue, there is an incredible article by Christopher Hitchens on Slate concerning the British treatment of Nazi prisoners during World War II.  I encourage everyone to read it.  It will certainly give you perspective as to the merits of humane vs. inhumane treatment.

One of the main arguments against the inhumane treatment of prisoners is that it serves as a recruiting tool for the enemy.  I have no way of confirming the veracity of this claim.  However, I do know that it is not a good thing.  When we result to using the tactics of those who would do us harm makes us no better than them.  And when we become no better than the enemy that we are fighting we cease to live up to the American ideal and therefore, this experiment, this thing that we call America becomes a lie.

We cannot check our American identity at the door during a time of crisis.  One of the things that we hold most dear is that we are the beacon of freedom for the rest of the world.  This has been our identity since the country was founded.  I volunteered and served my country even though I hated being subjugated to anyone or anything.  But when I volunteered to serve it wasn’t because my father didn’t give me many options, but I truly wanted to participate and be a part of something that was larger than myself.  That’s what America is…. a place that is larger than anyone of us.  I love being an American, but right now, I am not really proud of being one.  And for that, I blame Dick Cheney and a handful of misplaced government lawyers.

More to come later…


Filed under Politics, War

W. Worthless, Cheney, Himself, Dowd, Priceless!

April 29, 2009
Op-Ed Columnist

Vice’s Secret Vices





In a closed-door session on Tuesday, Dick Cheney testified before the Senate Intelligence Committee, which is investigating the “enhanced” interrogation techniques of “high value” detainees.

This columnist gained exclusive “access” to the classified testimony of the “deeply missed” former vice president.

The chairwoman of the committee, Dianne Feinstein, began by telling Cheney that she was “shocked personally” by what she had learned about the brutality of the way prisoners were treated.

“Those insects weren’t even poisonous,” Cheney growled. “Facial slaps? Abdominal slaps? Throwing a naked man into a wall? Kid stuff. Those methods worked. They kept us safe for seven years. Safer than with that delicate Hawaiian orchid in the White House. America is coming across as weak and indecisive. Just when Rummy and I had stomped out that ‘Blame America First’ flower-child culture, Obama has dragged it back, apologizing profusely all over the world for the country he’s running, canoodling with greasy dictators, kissing up to those weasels in Europe, which is only free today because of our military. Friends and foes alike will be quick to take advantage if they think they’re dealing with a Creamsicle.”

Senator John McCain, looking disgusted, began yelling at Cheney, telling him that waterboarding someone 183 times in a month was against the law. “The Japanese who did that in World War II were tried and hanged,” he sneered.

“Shut your piehole,” Cheney replied flatly. “Everyone’s sick of you being an apologist for torture. Why don’t you go join that pantywaist Specter on the other side where you belong?”

Senator Russ Feingold got into the fray, asking Cheney sarcastically: “Can you tell us exactly which terrorist plots were foiled by torture?”

Cheney offered his mirthless smile. “Certainly,” he replied. “Shortly after 9/11, we disrupted a plot to assassinate a senator, penetrating two terrorist cells and uncovering a Serbian scheme. Our interrogator used a chokehold, threatened to withhold a detainee’s heart medicine, and broke a few laws, but it was well worth it.”

Feingold interrupted with thinly veiled contempt: “You’re telling us now that the Serbs are linked to Al Qaeda?”

Cheney nodded. “Of course. Then, the following year, we were able to get a lead on an international terrorist named Syed Ali and stop a nuclear bomb from being detonated in Los Angeles. Sure, an enemy combatant was shot in the chest. Yes, a hacksaw came into play. There was some wall slamming, throat grabbing and when Ali wouldn’t talk because he was doing ‘Allah’s work,’ our agent had to feign the shooting death of Ali’s first-born son. But in the end we averted World War III with three Middle East countries and kept America safe from a suitcase bomb.

“In 2004, we thwarted the spread of a deadly weaponized virus strain. The following year, after some unsuccessful attempts at sensory disorientation with detainees, we got a torture specialist who had a way with a taser and his trusty syringe. Strict measures, like breaking fingers one by one and using an electrical cord from a lamp to shock a suspect, were necessary. We were under attack by a terrorist named Habib Marwan who controlled a bunch of Middle East terrorist cells. They were planning to meltdown nuclear power plants across the country, shoot down Air Force One and set off a nuclear missile. On top of that, we were dealing with a mole in our counterterrorism unit.

“In 2006, after an incident with the man who made history by becoming the first black president …”

Senator Feinstein interrupted: “Excuse me, Mr. Cheney, are you talking about Barack Obama?”

“I said the first black president,” Cheney snapped, before continuing: “Our interrogator needed to do some things outside protocol. There was an exploding vest, a foot digging into a wound, an injection of pain-inducing hyoscine-pentothal, a threat to cut out the eyes of a suspect being interrogated unless he confessed where the Sentox nerve gas cannisters were. But the Geneva Conventions are a small thing to give up when you consider that we broke up a nefarious plot that reached to the highest levels — the Oval Office.”

Senator Olympia Snowe looked confused: “But you were in the Oval Office in 2006, Mr. Cheney.”

Something dawned on Evan Bayh and he smiled grimly. “Didn’t it turn out in the end, Dick,” he asked, “that some of these so-called terrorist plots were really domestic villains with black ops teams scheming to control the oil supply and get rich? Sort of like what you did with Iraq and Halliburton?”

Cheney glared at him, saying “We’re the patriots.” Bayh walked over and whispered something to the chairwoman.

“Mr. Cheney,” Feinstein said, sounding shocked, “your testimony is delusional, not to mention derivative.”

Cheney looked apoplectic, not to mention apocalyptic. “How dare you,” he cried, “demean our country’s finest counterterrorism agent, Jack Bauer?”

1 Comment

Filed under Politics

Dickless Cheney!










Filed under Politics

Torture Memos!


























 Let’s not be to harsh on President Obama and his releasing of the torture memos that has former members of the Bush Administration making plans to flee to Costa Rica.  Had Obama not released the memos, he would have been compelled by a federal judge to do so anyway.  This all stems from a lawsuit filed by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) in 2003 under the Freedom of Information Act.  It has taken six years for these memos to be released.  Click the link to read the actual memos.

Every Republican talking head, Dickless Cheney in particular, are now running around like Chicken Little screaming that we are less safe for making information available to the public that was already widely known.  Cheney is even calling for the C.I.A. to make available memos that confirm that Enhanced Interrogation Techniques (torture) actually provided us with actionable intelligence.  According to the Washington Post

When CIA officials subjected their first high-value captive, Abu Zubaida, to waterboarding and other harsh interrogation methods, they were convinced that they had in their custody an al-Qaeda leader who knew details of operations yet to be unleashed, and they were facing increasing pressure from the White House to get those secrets out of him.

The methods succeeded in breaking him, and the stories he told of al-Qaeda terrorism plots sent CIA officers around the globe chasing leads.

In the end, though, not a single significant plot was foiled as a result of Abu Zubaida’s tortured confessions, according to former senior government officials who closely followed the interrogations. Nearly all of the leads attained through the harsh measures quickly evaporated, while most of the useful information from Abu Zubaida — chiefly names of al-Qaeda members and associates — was obtained before waterboarding was introduced, they said.

 What is equally disturbing is that the C.I.A. has destroyed over 90 video tapes, some of which included the use of torture that were also requested by the ACLU.  You can bet your ass that shit rolls downhill and by the time this stinking ball comes to a stop there are going to be quite a few people with new numbers.  Prison numbers that is.  Torture must never be a tool of the United States Government.  It undermines the moral authority of the United States.  Not to mention it flies in the face of Christian sensibilities.

Unfortunately,  Americans are almost equally split on the use of torture.  See the latest poll numbers here!  For another interesting take on the torture issue, check out the lastest blog by Fakename.


Filed under Politics, War