Tag Archives: hookers

Hookers for Jesus and Sarah Palin!

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I was watching the news this morning when I saw a report on Hookers for Jesus founder marries some guy in a Christian rock band.  Now I really don’t give a shit about Jesus or Christian music but hookers are a different story.  And Hookers for Jesus to me is a compelling story.  I mean, what the fuck does a hooker for Jesus do?  She sure as hell can’t blow you and recite the Ten Commandments at the same time.  My journalistic curiosity got the best of me and I visited their website hoping with all my soul that this organization was out to save the world using the transformative powers of sex.

What a fucking ripoff!  All I got was an aging porn-again ex prostitute who wants to make the world a better place and a donate button.  If I wanted the world to be a better place I would have joined PETA.   It seems that Ms. Lobert wants to stop human trafficking.  That, in and of itself is a noble ideal.  I don’t like the idea of people being sold.  But considering that you are based out of Las Vegas, I am assuming that by stopping human trafficking you really mean passing out Bibles to prostitutes and asking them to stop.

While we are on the subject of Hookers for Jesus, Sarah Palin is back in the news this week.  In a slam against the Obama Administration, the wacky wingnut from Wasilla claims that the government wants to control the people.

” We need to be aware of the creation of a fearful population, and fearful lawmakers, being led to believe that big government is the answer, to bail out the private sector, because then government gets to get in there and control it,” she said. “And mark my words, this is going to be next, I fear, bail out next debt-ridden states. Then government gets to get in there and control the people.”

Sarah Palin pisses me off everytime she opens her dumbass mouth.  President Obama should declare her an enemy combatant and deport her ass to Canada.  Not that I have anything against Canadians but I hear that they are much more forgiving than us intolerant Americans.  There will be no New World Order Sarah.  But if I had my way Sarah, I’d send you to Las Vegas to pass out Bibles to hookers and ask them to stop.

 

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Filed under Humor and Satire

Passage of Power!

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Barack Obama has yet to take office but his early favorable ratings are off the charts according to a new NBC/WSJ poll.  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28163452/  He is also putting together quite an impressive team to hit the ground running on January 20, 2009.  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27343359/

On Monday, December 15, 2008 the Electoral College will meet to officially cast their votes for President of the United States of America.  The vote will stand at 365 votes for President-Elect Obama and 173 votes for Senator John McCain.  These votes will be counted by the new Congress which convenes on January 3, on January 6, 2009 officially making Obama the 44th president.  That is the extent of my civics knowledge on the subject, so if I left anything out, feel free to correct me.

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Just when you think that everything is running along smoothly comes this idiot governor from Illinois trying to auction off Obama’s now vacant senate seat.  Rod Blagojevitch or Blago for short has been caught on tape by the FBI and this moron can probably count on spending a few years in the pokeyafter he is impeached and put on trial.  George W. Bush can take solace in the fact that the one politician in America with a lower approval rating is that of Blago.  Right now, his approval rating stands at just 8%.  But at least that is better than the hooker in Amsterdam that gave me the Clap in 1982, her rating still stands at 0%.

January 20, 2009 can’t get here soon enough for me.  With our current president being attacked with size ten shoes, we need respectability back in the White House.  The mere fact that the president of the United States of America can suffer one of the greatest insults in the Muslim world is a testament to his criminal and buffoon behavior.  But you have to give it to  Bush, he ducked those shoes like a question from the press corps.

Barack Obama will inherit enormous problems when he takes the oath of office unless ptfan1 can prove that Obama was born in Africa.  I wish him well.  We are all going to need for him to be successful to restore America’s place in the world and to fix the problems we have here at home.  And when it’s all said and done, I doubt that anyone will be throwing shoes at President Barack Hussein Obama!

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Where Are The Good Looking Hookers?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This past April was sexually transmitted diseases (STD) awareness month!  How many of you wore your green ribbons?  How many of you knew that Syphilis had its own special month?  Gonorrhea gets a month and mothers only get a day, go figure?  You might be wondering where I am going with this; I don’t think that I even know yet.

It was reported in my local newspaper, the Tallahassee Democrat that the Tallahassee Police Department busted up a prostitution ring.  I was like “Oh shit!”  They have caught Tallahassee’s version of the Mayflower Madame.  I don’t think prostitution should be illegal.  We men pay for it one way or another anyway.  When I read the article I had a slight change of mind.  They didn’t catch the Mayflower Madame but a group of three streetwalking hookers and their pimp.

I think that if you look like these two hookers, it should be illegal to be a prostitute.  And if your pimp sports a hoodie instead of a tailored suit, you should look for a better pimp.  My first reaction to the photos was “Hello Herpes” and “Are you allergic to penicillin?”  I guess that is why I opened with the reference to STD awareness month.  These women need two tickets to go to the zoo.  One to get in and one to get out.

Tallahassee will never really reach its true potential until the quality of our hookers improves.  Both the Leon County and Tallahassee City Commissions should form a joint task force to bring better hookers to the area.  Putting a paper bag over the heads of our local hookers and imagining them to be a desperate housewife just doesn’t work!

 

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Filed under Humor and Satire