Tag Archives: wasilla
The imminent resignation of Alaska Governor and ptfan1 pin up girl Sarah Palin came as a great shock and with a bit of relief when the announcement was made late Friday afternoon. I mean, who would have thought that the narcissistic Palin would voluntarily step away from the spotlight. To understand the severity of the situation; try to think of Anarchist paying full price at a Las Vegas hotel. That’s the shock value. The relief came because I momentarily got Fakename to stop talking about the ravishing effects of this week’s stomach virus. Take some Pepto and go lay down!
In a hastily prepared news conference attended by a couple of ducks and the Governor’s family, Palin continued her tradition of giving incoherent and rambling remarks. I could make fun of her but the New York Times columnist Gail Collins and the acerbic Maureen Dowd have done a much better job of it than I ever could. Only Sarah Palin could cite how other people’s determination and dedication inspired her to quit.
But anyone who watched the new conference came away with more questions than answers. I think that despite her proclamations of wanting to help children, her real motivation is money. You can almost see Rupert Murdoch foaming at the mouth to throw millions of dollars at Caribou Barbie. The “You betcha” and “Gosh darns” would be a goldmine for Fox News even if they threw her under the bus on Sunday. Watch!
I was fully expecting her to come clean and admit that she had an emotional love affair with Klondike the polar bear while hiking alone in the ANWR province. It would have been the perfect Republican tri-fecta. On a serious note though I think Sarah Palin has had an epiphany and has realized that her intellectual ability or lack thereof was never going to produce the results she so obviously thinks she’s entitled to. Maybe it was the Vanity Fair article that pushed her over the edge. Maybe it is the greed of all the money that awaits her as a private citizen. Whatever the case, Goodbye Sarah. Don’t come back anytime soon.
Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have called it quits two and a half months after the birth of their son Tripp Johnston. Acoording to Levi’s sister Mercedes, Bristol doesn’t want the baby being around “white trash!” Which in and of itself is pretty funny considering Bristol is pretty much “white trash” herself. For the full story click here! I’d like to see how the family values argument is going to play out in 2012.
Speaking of 2012, some group of morons met in a Denny’s Restaurant to announce a Draft Sarah Palin for President campaign in 2012. They have even started a mass email campaign to Iowa Republicans. What I want to know is what knd of excuse will she have for not paying her taxes in Alaska. I don’t know, maybe she forgot because she was too busy flying around in helicopters shooting wolves.
What do you give an anti-abortion, abstinence only, gun toting Christian governor for Christmas? A bastard, er illegitimate, er out of wedlock grandbaby. Bristol Palin gave birth to future hockey player and hillbilly heroin user Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston. It is reported that People magazine wii pay Bristol and Levi $300K for exclusive photos of baby Tripp. The Associated Mess considers this to be a good thing as it will keep another unwed mother off of food stamps and WIC. We have also scooped People by obtaining the first photo of Tripp.
For all of you Palinphiles, get your 2009 calander! Spend the entire year with Sarah and her family. It’s going to be another shitty year and you might as well spend your time with a shitty calander!
This morning, PETA’s Policy Department received a Scrooge-like phone call from someone purporting to be from Gov. Sarah Palin’s office threatening legal action against us if we don’t play ball—or, actually, stop playing ball. Why are Ms. Palin’s peeps so mad at PETA? Well, if you’ve played our Holiday Snowball Fight game recently, you may know. The game asks players to pick up a virtual snowball and take aim at 2008’s biggest animal foes, from Colonel Sanders to the Trollsen twins to Alaska’s own Sarah Palin. But guess what, Sarah? We’ve checked with our legal team, and they say that it’s “protected parody,” or “fair game”—so the game stays! After all, we’re throwing snowballs, not shoes.
In real life, the moose and other animals Ms. Palin blows to smithereens don’t stand a chance. But, hey, our game is virtual and nonviolent. To be honest, I’m not quite sure why Sarah is so mad about the game anyways. Wielding a gun and decked out in a sexy bikini and pageant ribbon, I’d think she’d be quite proud of how PETA’s portrayed her.
Though this game is just a bit of harmless payback, Palin’s real-life hunting habit is no joke. Palin not only guns down big moose but also supports aerial hunting of wolves—she even proposed putting a bounty of $150 on their heads. Wolves aren’t even overpopulated in Alaska. The sole reason for the bounty would be to boost the numbers of moose and elk so that hunters will have more living targets for their blood sport. Pathetic.
P.S. Governor Palin isn’t the only fantastic figure in the game, so if you haven’t had the chance to play, check it out!
Posted by Liz Graffeo
I thought my days about commenting on Alaska Governor Sarah Palin were over until 2012, but those wacky Wasilla hillbillies just won’t go away. Just yesterday, it was revealed that Bristol Palin’s baby daddy’s mama Sherry Johnston was arrested on 6 felony counts of misconduct involving a controlled substance. That’s pretty funny because where I come from that sounds an awful lot like “Drug Dealing!” Today, reports say that the charges stem from the misuse of the prescription drug Oxycontin. Those are some pretty steep charges for a pill when the true drug of choice in Wasilla is Methamphetamine.
The irony here is that Sarah Palin is now guilty of paling around with drug dealers. Surely Governor Palin has had Sherry Johnston over for dinner complete with moose chili. After all, their shared grandchild will be born any day now. This is a perfect example of shit coming back to bite you in the ass. This is not my logic but rather that of Sarah herself. Wasn’t she the one that accused Obama of paling around with terrorists simply because he sat on the same board of directors with William Ayers?
The real loser in the hillbilly fiasco is Johnston’s son Levi. Having already dropped out of high school he is set to become a father and a husband. According to media reports Bristol was the kind of person who, how can I put this nicely, was the type of person who walked around with a matress tied to her back. I’d get a DNA test Levi before saying “I do!” These same reports also indicate that Bristol as well her Brother Track were notorious boozers and stoners.
What have we learned here today? That people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Not only do you pal around with drug dealers Sarah Palin, you have raised alcohol and drug abusers, not to mention a thief of a son now in the army. Hope you do a better job with the new grandkid!