When I went outside this morning to smoke my first cigarette and drink my first cup of coffee, there was something eerily different than any other morning. There was no sheriff’s posse ready to storm in and impound my computer for blogging badly. There was no UFO hovering above to abduct me and conduct those experiments people don’t like to talk about after being abducted. I was busy scanning my surroundings to shake that feeling when I finally realized that I had been robbed! Some asshole stole my Obama sign!
It’s really kind of funny because I just saw a report on MSNBC the other day about Obama and McCain campaign signs being stolen, burned, and even defaced. Fellow Tallahassee resident and blogger legend Fakename, http://fakename2.wordpress.com/ had written about her sign being stolen. She even offered advice about taking your sign inside after dark. But I thought that I was safe and that this could never happen to me. Not in my neighborhood!
Then I noticed that my neighbor across the street had her Obama sign stolen as well. After a quick walk through my yard I noticed that all of the Obama signs were missing. What the fuck is going on? Was some McCain supporter pissed that there are no McCain signs anywhere and wanted to level the playing field? My best guess is that Chris Timmons has been hired by the Young Republican Party to secretly infiltrate African-American neighborhoods at night and steal all of the Obama signs.
I wonder what reduces people to the lowest common denominator as if stealing a sign is somehow going to influence which way a person votes. So to whoever it was that stole the signs, I can only say that I forgive you and that I’ve already voted for Obama. You can steal all the signs you want but you didn’t steal my vote and you will definitely not steal the election.