All recent First Ladies have championed social causes. Nancy Reagan started the war on drugs, which has been an utter failure. I can step out my front door and order anything like it was a McDonald’s drive through window. I just might be smoking a spliff right now. Barbara Bush supported plastic surgeons, too bad she couldn’t find one that could help her. And Laura Bush spoke up on behalf of women’s rights on the island nation of Lesbos. In a stuning new developement, the Associated Mess has learned that Michelle Obama and Hugh Hefner have entered into an agreement for a series of photo shoots.
When asked what she hoped to accomplish, Ms. Obama replied “Nothing sells like sex in America and I just want to do my part to help our economy.” Pressed further, the First Lady went on to say “We’ve entered into an agreement with Mr. Hefner that all proceeds will be donated to the national treasury. And when you’ve got an ass like mine, the first ass I might add, we are going to sell a hell of a lot of magazines.”
In a yet to be released press release Playboy will announce that the series will be global and available on the web. Every second, $3,075.64 is spent on pornography. By going global we will export enough tits and ass that soon enough, the Chinese and South Koreans will owe us fucking money. America has been good to the porn industry and know we feel that it is time to give back to America.
On a final note, Mrs. Obama added “Not only will the pictures be tastefully done, they will be accompanied by a series of compelling articles like Why Bobby Jindal and His Caste Loving Ass Should be Deproted and How Born Again Fiscal Conservative Republicans Have Learned Their Lesson.”